13 Comments

I believe I am still a paying reader - unless my annual subscription has ended - and I plan to go on being a paying reader as long as SINS exists. What do I get out of it?

1) I am everlastingly grateful to you, Helen, that you came to my home in Manhattan to talk about your experience writing Mating in Captivity to assist me as I was in the beginning stages of writing about my 32-year experience in the cult of Aesthetic Realism. (It's going on 6 years and the end is in sight of writing my memoir so I can move on to the next grueling stages. Ugh!)

2) Thanks to your encouragement about my mission, I established my website at donnalamb330@gmail.com to expose Aesthetic Realism and promote the issues that got me out of this cult - antiracism and pro-reparations for slavery advocacy. I also filed an official complaint against the Aesthetic Realism Foundation with the NYS Attorney General's office and did several other things to try to bring down this cult.

3) And very importantly, I simply love reading about your life since existing Zendik Farm! I look forward to your postings and read them with great interest. I don't need to feel I am getting something out of it for myself other than receiving the rare opportunity to see into another person's life, presented raw, not all tidied up and made to look good. I especially like having the chance to get a glimpse into the ongoing life of a former cult member, which, as I think you know, is pretty rare.

Most memoirs tell practically nothing about what happened after they left whatever cult they were in.

Anyway, I am usually so goddamn tired of sitting in front of this computer and writing that I have no desire to write anything I don't have to, so I have been a silent - but very appreciative - reader. There are no doubt others out there just like me.

Love,

Donna Lamb

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Thanks so much, Donna. I really, really appreciate your kind words, and treasure your support. (No, your yearly subscription has not run out! It's good for another 6 months at least.) I'm glad to hear that you are moving forward with your memoir. Thanks so much for investing some of your precious word-power in writing this comment. Much love to you too.

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Thank you for your voice and for sharing your thoughts. I am new in your world, but I appreciate deeply your honesty. And yes, I hear you about writing into the void... Just wanted to speak for all the lurkers our there (I am one of them), sometimes I read your posts and it stays with me for days, but I still don't go and comment... that's just me being human in this crazy world :)

Sending you love

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Thanks, Nataliya. Thank you so very much. It really helps to hear this. Sending you love too.

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I appreciate your honest writing, and wish you well on your journey. You're gifted at surfacing a compelling narrative from your truth, and I wish you nothing but success in finding a way to connect with an audience who will support you. However, I don't pay for Substacks, because I'm not sending money to a company that goes out of its way to platform and monetize hate speech.

Yes, Substack finally shut down a handful of openly Nazi blogs this spring after a huge outcry and creators threatening to leave. But not only was that not even close to a full solution, Substack is the platform that offered huge advances to sign up transphobes like Glenn Greenwald and Matt Yglesias -- advances that came from Substack's cut of the money that readers sent to authors they actually wanted to support.

So nope, I'm not going to participate in that. I don't trust Substack not to spend my money on hate speech.

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Also: If you prefer not to pay through Substack, you can send me money via Venmo (@Helen-Zuman) or PayPal (madgelma@hotmail.com) and I will comp you a paid subscription. Just mention “Substack” when you pay.

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Thanks, Natalka, for your kind words AND for your explanation of why you won't pay to subscribe to Substacks. Good to know.

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Whatever you do Helen, I hope it nourishes you. That’s really the goal. Some writers need money to feel nourished and successful. Others need the outlet. Some need to believe they are heard and that their words make a difference to the reader. And what you need probably changes over time. I’m grateful to witness your experience as a writer.

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Thank you, Gayle, for your wise and kind words. And for your support. Yes, what I need (and want) has changed over time, and no doubt will continue to. I appreciate your witnessing.

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I hear you. In soooo many ways. It only ever works if the exchange is right, and the moment it stops being right, it becomes drudgery.

I hope your break is nourishing and the exchange you return to feels better, because I think what you’re writing is important and interesting and needs to be said.

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Thank you, Cici. I wish you a nourishing experience of writing and publishing as well.

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Here here to not working harder!

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Thank you, Gregg. I will work softer.

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