Financial security vs. financial freedom

What "socially responsible" investing means to me

1 January 2024.

Yesterday afternoon I discovered that, eight years ago, Geranium had withheld from me a check from his father for five thousand dollars. It was dated December 25, 2015. It was made out to me. On the “For” line, his father had written, “Have a great new year.”

Geranium said he’d withheld it out of concern over how we were managing our joint assets. Specifically, he believed we weren’t collaborating closely enough.

This wasn’t a joint asset. It was my asset. (His dad had also given him a check for 5K, which he’d cashed.) And, of course, the thought “We’re not collaborating” created a stunning act of non-collaboration.

In the wake of this discovery, I considered chucking the rumspringa. Going straight for divorce. But I’m not going to. I’ll use this revelation to turn my money pile, instead.

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Last year, the day after my birthday, Geranium added money to the list of areas in which (according to him) I’m preventing him from getting what he wants.

He seems to want financial security. He seems to think we’ll get it by investing in stocks, bonds, etc.

I wouldn’t mind financial security—but I don’t think it exists.

I want financial freedom.

Meaning?

I see my time and energy as my most precious, least renewable resource. So, as long as I am generating income by doing stuff that’s not my soul work, I will invest any additional funds that come my way in freeing myself from doing that stuff.

Once I start generating (via my soul work) more money than I know what to do with, I might—if Geranium and I are still together—consider investing in some sort of “socially responsible” fund. But first I’d probably want to give surprise gifts to my friends. Fund weird art projects. Drop piles of cash on unsuspecting writers.

I like using money to make mischief. To rearrange people’s ideas of how money can come to them, and what it’s for. One of the best things I ever did with money was give a dear friend a thousand dollars, twice, to use as she pleased. I didn’t want a “return.” I wanted to see her thrive, and heal.

Also: If I want to invest in assets that will bring in more money, I’d rather keep those assets closer to home. Why invest a thousand dollars in a stock or bond when I could invest it in, say, expanding EIC’s mycelial network? Or revising and publishing my novel? Or otherwise making more of, and spreading the word about, what the web of life most wants from me?

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Yesterday evening, after we’d argued about financial collaboration, Geranium suggested that I consider building a “nest egg.”

Sure. I can do that. I love having piles of cash in the bank. But my Job, right now, is growing my business. Freeing my energy to flow into what won’t exist if I don’t create it.

That’s what “socially responsible” investing means to me.